Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Birds,Bees, and Me

I'm not a prude. No, really, I'm not.  I grew up with a German mother, so we had a very European attitude about nudity...i.e., everyone has one so it's no big deal. 

So today's science lesson has me a little red-faced and nervous. 

It's about reproduction. (Who else is singing that song from Grease 2 now?)  Oh yeah. We actually have to use the technical terms for our bodies and everything.  (Oh hush-you all know you have nicknames for certain parts!  Names that make you snicker when you hear someone else unwittingly say it! Wait...is that just me?  It is?  Oh.) 

(Funny story- my son's name is Will and when he was a toddler, his 'nickname' for his...you know...was Wee Willie's Winkie.  Which was cute until his kindergarten teacher taught them song and nursery rhyme about Wee Willie Winkie.  My son came home telling me the class sang a song about HIS WINKIE. He was a legend in his own mind.)  DON'T TELL HIM I TOLD YOU.

Now, before you think my kids are completely naive, let me just say that they know how babies come out of the tummy...they know a sperm fertilizes an egg...but they have never asked how DOES that sperm get there in the first place? And I learned long ago...only answer what they are asking about.  And they have never asked that key question.

I will say that it helps having two kids of the opposite sex.  When they we smaller they used to take baths together and they noticed the difference then, so there is no shocking revelation there. 

Anyway, like I said, I'm not a prude, and I don't mind teaching my children about the Birds and the Bees...but I feel like I am exposing my self  talking about it with them.  Because I know they will look at me and figure it out about me and Daddy.  And there might be questions.  And imaginations.  And therapy bills.

So, I will grit my teeth and act like a mature adult today.  I will answer all questions scientifically and biologically.  There will even be a cute little lapbook involved.

But I might need a glass of wine when it's all over.


  1. We had the talk when my big girl was in 5th, last year. She was quick to ask, "So, you and Daddy actually did this?" Recently, she asked if you have to have sex EVERY TIME you want a child, or is it a one time thing? Needless to say, we haven't discussed doing the dirty for fun muchless unplanned pregnancies...sigh...I'm so very glad for homeschooling, because I seriously doubt she'd be this innocent in public middle school...pass that bottle of wine...

  2. Trust me. My need for therapy is NOT because I imagined Mom and Dad uh... doing it. It's kinda cute that you call him Daddy, though. ;-)