Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Is It Just Me?

Okay: Poll time.  What age do you find it appropriate for children to have a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'?

When I was in middle school, it was a different day and age.  No texting, no social media.  If a boy called your house, chances are no matter where you hid with the phone (because, as we remember, the phone was attached to the wall and you had a limited radius of places to go with the phone), your mom or dad would hear the gist of the conversation.  Or the boy would maybe come over to your house.  Either way, chances were that the parents were bound to meet this other person sooner or later.  There was no secretiveness, no 'privacy'.  (Never mind I was a huge dork in middle school and never had a boy friend...that's beside the point.)

I have seen far too many children who have Facebook accounts, who are middle school aged, that have provocative profile pictures.  Who have suggestive status updates.  Who have boy-girl drama played out on the internet for all their friends to see.  Who text secretively to their friends.  Friends who the parents have no clue about.

I kinda have to be the uncool mom and say frankly...I don't like it.  Nothing good can come from all of this unsupervised  "'he-in' and she-in'". 

Am I being unreasonable?

Am I just that old fashioned?


  1. It ain't just you, sista!!! I did have boyfriends from the time I was 12. Can't recommend it. When I look at 12 year olds now I see babies trying to figure out how to grow up that next step and so many end up not stepping, but leaping forward into an adulthood for which they are woefully unprepared. So if you are unreasonable or old-fashioned, then I happily (and warily) sit with you in that section of the diner. :o)

  2. my daughter and i have conversations all the time about fb and internet and her cell phone. she is a really good kid but i read her stuff ALL the time. she knows i pull phone records to read texts too. we talk about her "friends" and the things they post too. i will make her delete "friends" if i dont like pictures, language or whatever. it is possible for them to enjot the technology with VERY STRICT rules and regulations. you just have to be involved and stay involved. you also have to be what your kid would call "nosy" and "no privacy!" we also talk about pictures and conversations on fb and texts. she knows onces it gets out out there that there is NO TAKING IT BACK! i think you just have to be VERY strict. now as far as the boyfriend thing...well she has had what SHE calls boyfriends but if talking on the phone is a boyfriend then call it that because that is ALL there is to her "so called" boyfriend relationships. she does not hang out at skiating rinks, movies, or malls. if I dont go, SHE dont go!!!

  3. I, too, think it's a bit much with the whole gf/bf thing. I mean...come on...really, in 5th/6th grade you can have a gf/bf? What does that entail? LOL! I remember having 1st graders when I taught public school talk about gf/ drove me CRAZY! I didn't have bf back then either...heck, I liked them, but that was the extent of it. I'm hoping it's a LONG while before I have to deal with that with my two...however, there will be STRICT rules when it does happen. :)

  4. Well, you just know I'd weigh in on this one! Personally, I don't believe in children dating. At all. That includes high school. I'm not against kids going out with groups in high school to things like prom or just hanging out. Two teenagers driving off together to God knows where? Nothing good can come of it...when they are in college, they're adults. And, even then, I hope my children don't take dating lightly. A lot of my friends have expressed a belief that all this dating by young kids sets the stage for divorce: they fall in love - HARD, they get hurt - HARD, they get over it, life moves on and they look forward to the next relationship high. Story of my life. To say I've seriously struggled with the concept of leaving my husband many times over the past 20 years is a vast understatement. With that being said, my 11 yr old has a boy she considers a boyfriend. Do they "date"? Um, let's see...they hang out together (on the sofa in front of me) when their mother cuts my hair every 2-3 months. Occasionally, I pick him and his brother up from school and they hang out until his mother is finished with her day job. Did I mention that his mother is one of my best friends?? Occasionally, we all do something together: pool, movies, the boat, etc. She can tell her friends she has a "boyfriend" all she wants to...I know differently! And, thankfully, like the vast majority of my girl's friends, he's not into all the social media/texting junk.
    Lisa Ireallyamthatconservative Wheeler